#SmartphoneFree: Consumed By Their Devices

Today I saw one of those viral Facebook posts that goes round. This one (the one above) was written by a teacher who has just left the job.

Usually, I am not a fan of those - I'm the guy whose other blog used to be called 'Why I've Stayed In Teaching' - but Ms. Gentry does make some good points. And yes, some of them are about digital devices such as smartphones:

"PARENTING has changed. SOCIETY has changed. The kids are just the innocent victims of that. Parents are working crazy hours, consumed by their devices, leaving kids in unstable parenting/coparenting situations, terrible media influences... and we are going to give the excuse that the KIDS have changed? What did we expect them to do?"

She goes on to say:

"In the midst of all of this... our response is we need to be "21st Century" schools. 1 to 1 student to technology. Oh. Okay. So forget the basics of relationship building and hands on learning. Kids already can't read social cues and conduct themselves appropriately in social settings... let's toss more devices at them because it looks good on our website."

Her solution was to leave her job to focus on bringing up her own child in a better way - very admirable indeed. Which puts doing away with a smartphone in perspective - if someone can jack in their job in order to live by the principles they believe in, then surely giving up your smartphone is do-able?

In fact, it was an incident with my children that was the straw that broke the camel's back for me:

"We’d set out in our waterproof-everythings for a day of avoiding the house while my wife taught a baking class. I’d tucked my phone away and had purposefully brought a camera – I really wanted to spend a day in the great outdoors with my children without constantly feeling the need to share it with the rest of the world in real time. 

 We’d crossed a few fields, walked through a farmyard, got up-close-and-personal with a group of cows and that’s when it happened. My daughter was standing at the gateway barring us from passing through.

 “What’s the password, Daddy?” 

 I wasn’t sure what the password was. So I asked her. 

 The reply came back: “Daddy’s stupid phone.” 

 It hit me hard. On a day when they hadn’t seen me using my phone, it was still on their minds. And, in their view, it was clearly something negative."

(Taken from my forthcoming TES piece about life without a smartphone)

I realised that in order to bring my children up in a way that I believed in, I'd have to stop modelling such poor behaviour to them. How would I have a leg to stand on when they started asking for their own phones? And if I had to speak to them about their own device usage? I knew there and then that my lack of self-discipline was going to come back to bite me if I didn't do something about it.

I hope not to ignore my daughters due to my screentime. And I hope never to fob them off with a screen so that I don't have to interact with them. But that's just me.

#SmartphoneFree: Turning Off My Phone

"Every day I wake and everything is broken 
Turnin' off my phone just to get out of bed 
Get home every evening and history's repeating 
Turning off my phone 'cause it's hurting my chest 

All I hear is voices 
Everybody's talking 
Nothing real is happening, 'cause nothing is new 
Now when all is tragic 
And I just feel sedated 
Why do I feel numb? 
Is that all I can do? 

I can't sit and hope, I 
Can't just sit and pray, that 
I can find a love, when 
All I see is pain 
I try to do the things, I 
Say that I believe (I do believe) 
I can't just preach, baby, preach"

Jon Legend (legend) is definitely talking about how current events make us think and feel, but he identifies smartphones as being a conduit for how we recieve the news. And it is true that waking up and reading the news and reading it before we go to sleep is probably a pretty rubbish way to begin and end the day. But maybe he hasn't really got a downer on smartphones.

However, the song did inspire me to actually do something about what I was beginning to think and feel and believe about my own smartphone usage. I had to try to do the thing... and the thing was rid myself of the device which kept on sucking time out of my life and my attention from the people who I share life with.

And now I've done the thing... I can legitimately preach.

#SmartphoneFree: Focus On The Journey

"Wonder what life was like on a landline, 

Or what life was like before the landline, 

Probably black and white where everybody had time, 

To focus on the journey 'stead of focused on the timeline, 

So... I'm absorbed in my phone screen, 

I look up, up, up and I'm alone, see." 

 Wise words from Leyma on his 2019 single 'ExtraExtra'. 

 That acknowledgement that before smartphones we might just have been all a little bit more focused on things that really mattered. And that admission of how lonely it can feel, even when surrounded by others, in a world full of smartphone users. It certainly rings true for me, and if an 18 year old can see it too, that gives me hope for the future.

Leyma had this to say about these very lines (taken from giggoer.com): 

 "These topics aren’t really vocalised enough. We all “wake up and (I) say nothing”, but I do think that everyone sort of knows what’s happening isn’t healthy. With the line “I wonder what life was like on a landline”, I can only really imagine that everything was different. That mental health among the youth wasn’t as prominent. That you had more time to go do things “instead of focus on the timeline”. I won’t ever know, but it’s mad thinking about how recently that was. I know how comparing yourself to other people can f*** you up, talking first hand. The thing is, that’s just what social media is now- just a bragging platform, where we all take ourselves too seriously, a toxic place to be.

 Being adolescent is difficult enough, without this constant judgement of who you are and what you’re doing. I feel for the people who are 14 right now, dealing with all that stress."

#SmartphoneFree: Experiencing And Savouring The Present Moment

When you've gone #SmartphoneFree you have to have something to do on the toilet - the back of the Domestos bottle gets boring quickly. I installed a copy of Meik Wiking's 'The Little Book Of Hygge' and have been picking it up and reading bits at random.

Given that I've not had a smartphone to use in the moment when curiosity hits, it's taken me until now to find out just how 'hygge' is pronounced: apparently it's hyoo-guh. Not that I needed to know that to recognise I've been able to see eye-to-eye with lots of these Danish principles of living well and achieving happiness.

The bit that caught my eye, and tallies well with my attempts to live a #SmartphoneFree life was the following:

"Hygge is charged with a strong orientation and commitment towards experiencing and savouring the present moment... on that camping trip there was nowhere else we needed to be. We were offline. No phone. No email. We were surrounded by simplicity, by nature and good company, and able to fully relax and take in the moment."

I wonder how much less we do just savour the moment when we constantly have access to things which seems to be so much more inviting on our phones?

These days I'd consider myself an ambivert (part-extrovert, part-introvert) but there was a time when I'd have considered myself an out-and-out extrovert, and all my friends would have too. Those were the days before smartphones - I can't help but wonder how much smartphone use has contributed to my desire to be on my own more. I'll never really know - perhaps my more introverted tendencies are just as a natural result of maturing.

Either way, though, the last few weeks without a smartphone have certainly enabled me to be more 'present' in social situations.

It doesn't need to be a camping trip that drags you away from your wifi connection - going #SmartphoneFree could have the same effect. Then you can notice and enjoy life's simplicities and relax a little bit more.

Latif Fityani CELL Phone Cartoon

#Twitter #Facebook #socialmedia #smartphone #family #friends #تويتر #فيسبوك #التواصل_الاجتماعي #العائلة #الأصدقاء pic.twitter.com/9i7EK0il85

— Latif Fityani (@LatifFityani) April 23, 2015