#SmartphoneFree: But He Lost What He Had

"He got what he wanted (but he lost what he had)…"

We often seem to think about what we would lose if we had to give up something and rarely think about what we might gain.

With our smartphone use we gained what we wanted.

We got instant access to all the knowledge in the world, an foolproof way to navigate from A to B, increased communication, the ability to shop 24/7 from the comfort of your own home, an endless stream of cat videos and so on. We even got loads of stuff we didn't know we wanted but definitely think we want now we've got it.

But we also lost what we had.

We lost time alone with our thoughts. We lost proper conversations face to face. We lost time spent with our families. We lost the experience of wandering and noticing what goes on around us. We lost time. We lost money. We lost relationships.

Yet we also forget what we lost and think that their replacements are even better.

We think we gained knowledge, inspiration and improvement by being constantly influenced by a multitude of minds through podcasts, vlogs, blogs, articles, tweets and status updates. We think we gained better communication because it is so instant and easy and constant. We think we gained quality family time because it looks so good to our friends on Instagram and Facebook. We think we gained a world-wide perspective because our phone and computers regularly update their home screens with beautiful pictures from around the globe. We think we gained time because we can do things so much more quickly. We think we gained money because it's so much easier to find a bargain or sell on our unwanted stuff. We think we gained relationships because we connect with hundreds and thousands of people on a daily basis.

We got what we wanted and we lost what we had. And what we wanted turns out not to be what we really needed. And what we had, in the end, for some us, is what we want again.

If that's you - the one who knows that they want again what they once had - then think not what you might lose from giving up your smartphone, or your social media accounts, but what you might gain. And just do it. It's really not as bad as you think it's going to be.

#SmartphoneFree: Top TIP For Parents

http://www.msn.com/en-gb/lifestyle/parenting/internet-safety-101-top-tips-for-keeping-your-children-safe/ar-AAH8pGZ?ocid=ientp

An article based on an untenable premise.

"It's unrealistic to watch everything your child does..." - probably right, if you're giving them access to devices which can access the internet.

However, what if you don't give them that access? Then it becomes very realistic.

How has it become the norm that children have this kind of access? If parents don't go against the tide on this, society is going to have some problems.

Yes, children are going to rail against a lack of connection simply because 'everyone else does it' - but since when has that been a great argument for doing anything?

Parents need to get wise and articles like this only contribute to the problem.

#SmartphoneFree: Screen Love

'Can you hear me love? It's like you've never seen enough. 
If there's one thing between us, love, it's your screen love.'

A great track from Rel McCoy explaining how smartphone addiction can drive a wedge between loved ones.

Although I do admit to feeling frustrated by others' use of digital devices I eventually had to turn the spotlight on myself. I couldn't change the habits of others, but I could change my own. And, although I'm here evangelising about the #SmartphoneFree way of life (still have to have a hashtag!), I never intend to be preachy, at least in real life. I made my decision for myself, not to try to influence others.

If you find yourself annoyed by how much time your friends and family spend using digital devices, allow that to prompt some self-reflection into your own usage.

#SmartphoneFree: Mind-Forged Manacles

Please forgive me if this comes across as crass, but I'm sure many of you will know what I mean: one of the places you really miss having a smartphone is when you're 'in the bathroom'. I suppose, in all honesty, some of us perhaps spend more time in there than we really need to because of our smartphones.

One of the principles in Cal Newport's book 'Digital Minimalism' (which I discovered 5 months after getting rid of my smartphone) is that when you complete a digital declutter you should replace your digital activities with more meaningful non-digital activities.

I'd already worked this out - in fact, I'd thought of so many things to do in all the time I was going to save by not having a smartphone that I don't have enough time to do all of them - and knew that having something different to read during moments of downtime was going to be a must.

I'd already decided that poetry was something I wanted to get into a bit more and so my copy of 'How Poems Work' by Robert Gullifer and Matthew Jenkinson  made its way onto the windowsill in our bathroom. In this book there are 100 poems, each at around a page long, which are all partnered with another page's worth of brief analysis of the meaning of the poem and the techniques used. I've learned loads about poem structures, literary movements, rhyme schemes and so on, and have absolutely loved getting to know some brilliant and emotive poems.

Many of the poems have struck me for different reasons, but one line in 'London' by William Blake belongs here on this blog:

In every cry of every man,
In every infant's cry of fear,
In every voice, in every ban,
The mind-forged manacles I hear.

With this line Blake refers to the 'mental imprisonment of London's inhabitants'. Blake was writing in the time of revolution - industrial, American, French - but I see his words bearing relevance during today's digital revolution.

As Newport discusses, an oft-given reason for continued overuse of social media and digital devices is that they are useful and that life is difficult without them. This is an example of mind-forged manacles. We tell ourselves that the scant positive gains we get somehow outweigh the negative consequences of our screen addictions. And, actually, this is exactly what the tech companies want - they deliberately design their products to convince us that life is impossible without them.

One more reflection on 'How Poems Work': I always rejoice in intertextuality and I found a great example in three of the books I've read recently or am currently reading. In 'The Way Home', Mark Boyle (the cover of his book alone speaks to me) cites Henry David Thoreau as an influence, particularly his book 'Walden'. Cal Newport, in 'Digital Minimalism' also references and quotes Thoreau:

'The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation. They honestly think there is no choice left. But alert and healthy natures remember that the sun rose clear. It is never too late to give up on our prejudices.'

In 'How Poems Work' I not only found Thoreau's 'The Summer Rain' but also Ralph Waldo Emerson's poem 'Walden' about his area of woodland where Thoreau lived in a cabin for two years, two months and two days. Both poems speak of nature's superiority over the man-made although perhaps Thoreau takes it too far when he almost denounces the reading of books - I will certainly be continuing to enjoy the pleasure of reading real paper pages over the shining screen of my smartphone.

Booklist:

The Way Home: Tales From A Life Without Technology by Mark Boyle (Oneworld Publications)
How Poems Work by Robert Gullifer & Matthew Jenkinson (John Catt Educational Ltd)
Digital Minimalism by Cal Newport (Penguin)

#SmartphoneFree: Click That Button Four Times

Truth be told I do miss the ease of texting on a smartphone. It takes a lot longer on my dumbphone, I probably don't go into as much detail and I haven't even worked out how to make capital letters yet. But, perhaps the time it takes to write something puts me off sending pointless texts? Or maybe it's actually making me more disconnected from those who I don't see on a regular basis?

#SmartphoneFree: 87% Think They Use Their Phone Too Much

Positives of owning a smartphone aside, do you think you use your smartphone too much?

Please RT!

— That Boy Can Teach 📵 (@thatboycanteach) July 20, 2019

Nearly 1000 people responded to my poll about smartphone use. I didn't set the criteria for what constitutes too much but 87% of respondees self-identified as using their smartphone too much.

And if it is true that they are, what are they going to do about it?

#SmartphoneFree: Consumed By Their Devices

Today I saw one of those viral Facebook posts that goes round. This one (the one above) was written by a teacher who has just left the job.

Usually, I am not a fan of those - I'm the guy whose other blog used to be called 'Why I've Stayed In Teaching' - but Ms. Gentry does make some good points. And yes, some of them are about digital devices such as smartphones:

"PARENTING has changed. SOCIETY has changed. The kids are just the innocent victims of that. Parents are working crazy hours, consumed by their devices, leaving kids in unstable parenting/coparenting situations, terrible media influences... and we are going to give the excuse that the KIDS have changed? What did we expect them to do?"

She goes on to say:

"In the midst of all of this... our response is we need to be "21st Century" schools. 1 to 1 student to technology. Oh. Okay. So forget the basics of relationship building and hands on learning. Kids already can't read social cues and conduct themselves appropriately in social settings... let's toss more devices at them because it looks good on our website."

Her solution was to leave her job to focus on bringing up her own child in a better way - very admirable indeed. Which puts doing away with a smartphone in perspective - if someone can jack in their job in order to live by the principles they believe in, then surely giving up your smartphone is do-able?

In fact, it was an incident with my children that was the straw that broke the camel's back for me:

"We’d set out in our waterproof-everythings for a day of avoiding the house while my wife taught a baking class. I’d tucked my phone away and had purposefully brought a camera – I really wanted to spend a day in the great outdoors with my children without constantly feeling the need to share it with the rest of the world in real time. 

 We’d crossed a few fields, walked through a farmyard, got up-close-and-personal with a group of cows and that’s when it happened. My daughter was standing at the gateway barring us from passing through.

 “What’s the password, Daddy?” 

 I wasn’t sure what the password was. So I asked her. 

 The reply came back: “Daddy’s stupid phone.” 

 It hit me hard. On a day when they hadn’t seen me using my phone, it was still on their minds. And, in their view, it was clearly something negative."

(Taken from my forthcoming TES piece about life without a smartphone)

I realised that in order to bring my children up in a way that I believed in, I'd have to stop modelling such poor behaviour to them. How would I have a leg to stand on when they started asking for their own phones? And if I had to speak to them about their own device usage? I knew there and then that my lack of self-discipline was going to come back to bite me if I didn't do something about it.

I hope not to ignore my daughters due to my screentime. And I hope never to fob them off with a screen so that I don't have to interact with them. But that's just me.

Latif Fityani CELL Phone Cartoon

#Twitter #Facebook #socialmedia #smartphone #family #friends #تويتر #فيسبوك #التواصل_الاجتماعي #العائلة #الأصدقاء pic.twitter.com/9i7EK0il85

— Latif Fityani (@LatifFityani) April 23, 2015